dear world,

Dr. Getch on theoretical orientation in practice

Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey

psychodiagnosis professor on Pica disorder

listening to: steady breathing

I sometimes find myself wandering around in a dramatic mess not sure where to walk next.  both paths are rocky, there’s no way around it.  to take one road means i abandon what might lie at the end of the other.  thus, the perpetual fork in the road.

i’m at an interesting and frustrating fork in the road.  to speak or not.  to act or not.  i really don’t know!  the thing is, i feel like if i don’t then no one else will either.  this may all be very cryptic so bear with me.  but somewhere along the way, i elected myself as a spokesperson of sorts.  today i asked myself why.  why did i take it upon myself to say or do what everybody else wants to say or do.

please somebody speak for me!  i really don’t want to.  i don’t think you know how uncomfortable it makes me to take your voices and make them my own.  i don’t want to anymore. somebody say and do what needs to be said and done and i promise i’ll drop it.  i’m sorry that i took it upon myself without being asked and i’m realizing that it backfired.  i tried to stand up for myself and others and it just plain old backfired.

feeling kind of like a frayed wire right now.  no longer in a neat little bundle but i’m unsure of what to do about it.  i can’t just go around being a frayed wire… it’s kind of a safety hazard.

Professor on bipolar disorder

Marriage & Family therapy professor

Finnick Odair, Hunger Games: Mockingjay

i think i’m going to make a horrible employee.  sorry future employers- it’s out there.  but this is why!  i’m sitting downstairs in the aderhold (the building ALL my classes are in… forever) cafeteria and listening to the buzz of vending machines and the nervous guy tap his foot on the tile floor and i realize that i’m going crazy.  i’m actually going insane.

my therapist said i should start a think log so here i am.  jk that was a therapist joke… that’s only funny to therapists…  but really y’all, i can’t take it.  my head is throbbing, my eye is twitching and i haven’t even been to class yet!  i have one in like 30 minutes and i’m wondering if it’s too early in the semester to skip.  *thinking*  yes.

on a much brighter note, a delightfully cheery friend of mine Siggy (im in counselor confidential mode so you won’t know his name) and I will be starting a new blog!  i’ve recently taken to the idea of cooking food instead of paying someone to cook it for me.  no no, not a chef.  i was referring to fast food.  but now we’re starting this cooking blog except it’s ALL ABOUT CUPCAKES!  future blog name? perhaps.

so when that’s up and running you can read about delicious things to eat instead of my mindless chatter.  you know you love it.